No one ever told me the health problems you can get from sitting in a chair all day. I mean, I guess it makes sense. Your body was not designed to sit all the time. Humans are bipodal creatures. (That sounded way smart, didn't it?Not that bipodal is a real word or anything , but it sounds smart...so I'll take it.) My back hurts constantly. I have painful ankle contractures. (Which, they did try to warn me about in all fairness. Too bad they didn't convey the reality of it hard enough to make me do my ankle stretches more faithfully, so I could prevent them.) Various muscles are weak and cramp. Legs. Feet. Etc. And worse of all, I get hemorrhoid flare-ups from all the sitting. Yes, pooping is painful. Hemorrhoids used to be way embarrassing to me. Old people get them. Not me -- I mean, I look like a 12 year old. I remember I got a flare-up in Utah and I went down to Smith's to get preparation h, my cream of choice for hemorrhoids. I was so embarrassed so I bought a ton of other groceries. But of course,the checker noticed it among whatever else I was buying and she held it up. "Honey , is this yours?" I silently nodded as my face went red. Busted. Maybe I should have put condoms in there. Put the checker off the scent. That would go over well in Provo. Oh well! And now I don't care. I have hemorrhoids! And they hurt! And I use preparation h. So there! And this is on the Internet for anyone to see. I know I will regret this one day, like that picture of me floating around somewhere of me dancing with bright pink underwear on my head, but I'm not planning on running for public office, so maybe I'm good. :)