It's the last day of November...and I am not frantically trying to finish my 50K word novel. It's kinda sad that I gave it up so soon. Maybe I give up too easy... I always am so super hard on myself when I have to quit something and then make excuses for it. I hate excuses. I hate having to not be dependable. I don't care if my disability poses some legitimate excuses for me... I. Don't. Like. Excuses. So, some things may be harder for me to do. Some things may take me longer than a 'normal' person. I may need help. But I want to get it done. But do I? Not always. I have started to get trapped in the excuses. It does seem easier to throw in the towel. And let's face it, disabled people are expected to give up. I grew up without my disability being visible. I was taught to aim high. As time has gone by and my disability becomes more visible, I have noticed that I have not been encouraged to aim high, but to settle. Settle for a low paying job I don't want. Settle for a lifetime of social security and medicaid. Settle that I will never have a family or be treated like an adult. I don't want to settle nor feel that I have to. My disability has not changed my expectations of life. nor that I feel like it should. But I can't get a job that even remotely resembles what I want to do. And I quit my nano, among other things. Maybe I should have low expectations...